The Intensity of her Gaze


Recently, there was a man from China who was suing a popular television host, because over the weeks and months and maybe even years that he was watching her program, he believed that the intensity of her gaze on him was causing irreversible “spiritual damage.” Imagine that. I would so love to be in the presence of a being whose gaze was so powerful it could cause “spiritual damage.” This got me to thinking – what would such a being actually be like? I imagine her to be an incredibly divine being. She would have to be an entity with eyes so fierce, they will shatter the outermost layers of your soul, and thereby utterly obliterate all that is false in you. From her eyes would be a seeing that emanates from the beating heart of loving omnipotence. One that was so intense, it would instantaneously dissolve your divine dissatisfaction, and render it the most fleeting of memories.  There might even be a hint of sadness there, born of the knowledge that all are not yet free of suffering. Yet, despite the fierceness in her eyes, there is also an infinite softness. I would definitely take the risk. I think the litigant was not sufficiently evolved to receive this power. It’s entirely his fault. Only lesser beings suffer the spiritual damage. He should have been warned that he was soon going to be in the presence of a transcendent being, so that he could have made ready his vehicle through rigorous and intense preparations.

There would have to be a period of  intense purification, where you got rid of all that was false within you. It would have been worth it, because if you survive the spiritual damage, you would receive energetic transmissions of incalculable importance. These transmissions would be of great knowing and power. This being, let’s call her the Goddess, is probably an incarnation of strange cosmic energies from beyond the edge of the galaxy. She is conventionally beautiful, but her inner beauty outshines that of her outer appearance. So, you move on to your first lesson: you find yourself crawling to  the edge of a great sprawling desert on an almost forgotten continent. There, you find yourself be a supplicant to a wizened mystic and you have to be absolutely willing to be his apprentice for a period of not less than 18 years.

You are going to find yourself staining your teeth ochre with a peculiar variety of betel nut, and ingest their mind-altering power. This  holy madman will initiate you into the esoteric mysteries of creation. These mysteries have been lost for untold eons, but recently unearthed by some construction workers building a condominium for a well known North American billionaire. Then, you  jet to Nepal to be instructed by a guru well respected in that part of the world and no stranger to great spiritual challenges. This woman has a gaze that is also quite intense, although not nearly to the same degree as the Goddess. She is an interim step on your ultimate journey to be consumed by a power beyond imagining. She will gradually work on your soul, emptying out all of the garbage and the dreck to get it ready for to be a receptacle for the transcendent energies that will present themselves at your final destination.

So, you travel quickly to the most remote part of India, where you encounter a dreamlike Bodhi tree. In this exceedingly strange territory, you will be expertly tutored by this sacred being that is rumored to exist in so many different dimensions of reality at once. This it is a concept almost incomprehensible to the mortal mind. The being is a direct descendant of the tree under which the Buddha sat and attained enlightenment.  It is a plant with ancient overreaching branches and  it seemingly wants to touch the sky, and to absorb the celestial radiance contained within it. It is also strangely luminous at night. This light is softly omniscient. This inner luminescence is rumored to  impart knowledge to initiates such as you, because it has seen so much suffering throughout its thousand year life span, and has learned so much from this suffering. It will now impart to you all of its collected wisdom. This will serve you well when you enter Her presence. The tree is your attentive guide as you travel through the ethereal landscapes. It projects an otherworldly light, filling you with a joy beyond reason. This joy takes the form of a boundless bliss. This is the only lesson she wants to teach you. But when you have boundless joy, what more do you need? Nothing else, really. This might be sufficient, but just in case let’s have a few more lessons.

Now, steep yourself in the arcane mysteries of creation here. Because besides the tree, there are other beings in this part of the universe willing to help you learn what you need to know. One of these beings is an iridescent tortoise deity. You become one with him as he teaches you that spiritual qualities are best simmered in a stew of divine slowness. Slow down now…way down. Slow down your heartbeat until the deity puts you in a kind of death. In this state, neither really dead nor really alive, you peer into the ethereal realms beyond the veil of materiality.  You die while still alive. You also die to the past.  There are others here as well. By now you have spent decades on getting ready.  Like a great spiritual warrior, you have put in your time, and finally, you are now in excellent spiritual shape.  You have to be a fearless spiritual warrior even to be in her presence but even then, you are taking a risk because you could be utterly annihilated. The gravest danger is that your flimsy personality construct would be utterly destroyed and you will return to the luminescent ocean that is pure consciousness. You have hear intimiations that she possesses an infinite compassion that belies her outer ferocity.

But one thing you know for sure: she is an incredibly holy being. The Goddess is even more beautiful than you could have possibly imagined. She is the cosmos come radiantly alive in its most deeply feminine aspect. She is making you drunk with ecstasy. It’s amazing how strongly you lust for her. She will kiss you rapaciously, and you fear your soul will explode into a million glittering shards. Or perhaps, you will be translated in the twinkling of an eye into something entirely new on the evolutionary scale. You just don’t know. You peer into her eyes.  And then you find yourself lovingly embrace her with a passion that would be erotic, if the word was not too vulgar for a being of her level of divinity. Are you ready? You wait for it. Wait for the destroying waves to utterly annihilate you. Alas, they do not come. The only reality for you are waves of pure love; pure consciousness from the powerful source of all creation. Your fears were for naught, because she does not really possess the ability to even slightly harm a fellow sentient being. It’s our weakness that is a product of human frailty that causes the harm. The damage is caused by our unwillingness to surrender to the mysterious power that gave rise to the universe. Because if we surrender, nothing is damaged and all is restored to its original splendor.

Finally, you find yourself home, and the karmic cycle has stopped. You have arrived back at the source of all energy.You can hop off the roller coaster now. Get off the ride. You have assimilated back into the Godhood. You now become one with the cosmos, and you no longer have to endure endless reincarnations.This is the trajectory we are all on. We need to be fierce warriors to embark on this arduous odyssey.  At times, it felt as though we would never make it. The litigant believed the being was evil. This was a gross misperception of her true nature. What he saw as evil was merely his own inability to withstand sacredness in its most visceral form, and the numinous intensity of her gaze.

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